The first morning of nursery is a big moment for both of you. Your child is stepping into a new world of unfamiliar rooms, adults and routines, and you are handing over the person you have cared for since birth. Feeling nervous is completely normal. The good news is that preparation makes a real difference, and a calm parent usually means a calmer child on the first day of nursery school.
These tips cover how to practise the routine early, what to pack, how to say goodbye without tears and what to expect during the first week.
Practise the routine early
A few weeks before term begins, start moving your child’s daily rhythm towards the school timetable. If your child normally wakes at nine, gradually bring that forward so that an early morning does not come as a shock. Practise getting dressed, eating breakfast and leaving the house at the time you will need on school days. In Lagos, where traffic can be unpredictable, build in extra time so the morning never feels rushed.
Talk about nursery in cheerful, concrete terms. Explain that there will be a teacher, other children, songs, toys and snack time, and that you will come back to collect them. Read picture books about starting school, and play “nursery” at home with dolls or toys. Children often process big changes through play.
Build small independence skills
Nursery staff are used to helping, but children feel proud and settled faster when they can do a few things for themselves. In the weeks before the first day, encourage your child to:
- Wash and dry their hands with minimal help.
- Tell an adult when they need the toilet.
- Put on and take off their shoes and bag.
- Eat with a spoon and open their own lunchbox where possible.
- Say their name and answer simple questions.
What to pack
Follow the school’s list first, since requirements differ from one school to another. In general, label everything clearly with your child’s name, including bag, bottle, lunchbox, sweater and spare clothes. A spare set of clothes is a wise addition for any young child, because accidents and spills happen.
Pack a healthy snack or lunch that is easy to open and eat, and a water bottle your child can manage. If the school allows it, a small comfort item, such as a tiny soft toy kept in the bag, can reassure a child who is feeling anxious. Check with the teacher beforehand.
Saying goodbye without tears
Tears at drop-off are common and usually pass quickly. The kindest approach is a short, confident and loving goodbye. Hug your child, tell them clearly that you will be back after school and then go. Lingering, or slipping away without a word, tends to make things harder. A little goodbye ritual, such as a special wave or a high five, gives your child something familiar to hold on to.
Try not to show your own worry. Children read adult faces closely. If you cry, do so after you have left. Early years teachers handle separation every year and are skilled at distracting and comforting children once the parent has gone. Our Head of Early Years, Mrs Omotosho Titilayo, says: “A child’s brain is at its most flexible during the early years.” That flexibility is exactly why most children adapt faster than their parents expect.
The first week: what to expect
Expect some ups and downs. Your child might love day one and protest on day three, or be quiet and tired in the evenings. Tiredness is normal, as nursery is full of new sights, sounds and social demands. Keep evenings calm, give a good meal and an early bedtime, and ask gentle questions about the day, such as “Which song did you sing?” rather than “Did you cry?”
Stay in touch with the teacher. A quick conversation about how your child is settling will help you both. If separation difficulties continue for a long time, talk to the school about a plan together. At Palmville Children School we are glad to support families through this stage; you can read about our nursery and primary school or arrange a visit before term starts.
Frequently asked questions
How can I help my child stop crying at nursery drop-off?
Keep goodbyes short, warm and consistent, tell your child when you will return and avoid sneaking away. Most children settle within minutes once the parent has left.
What should a child bring on the first day of nursery?
Follow the school’s list. In general, bring a labelled bag, water bottle, snack or lunch and a spare set of clothes.
How long does it take a child to settle into nursery?
It varies. Some children settle within days, while others need a few weeks. Patience, routine and good communication with the teacher help.
Starting nursery is a milestone that you will both remember. With a little preparation, a confident goodbye and a patient attitude, your child can begin to enjoy school and you can begin to relax. Take a photo on the first day, because it passes quickly.